2016: A Little Ruthless, A Little Kind

As I sat through yet another traffic jam on Margalla Road while on my way back home, I did what I do best during such trying times on the road – reflect on my life, my goals, my people, and myself. The conundrum outside was actually helping me think; Honk, honk! another year was gone! Honk, honk! Still so much left to do! Honk, honk! Why can’t we just be a little civil, people?

This year gave me a chance to grow and learn; to fail but also thrive; to falter but also to find my way back. 2016 helped me gain perspective. It allowed me to truly focus and prioritize. It gave me the chance to develop my skill set.  It gave me the strength to build on relationships that were of value. It gave me the courage to speak my mind – to try to be myself. 2016 allowed me to travel across the country and learn to appreciate the diversity of cultures, opinions, and values.

Each year, you grow a little. You learn more about who you are and who you want to be. While I am still figuring out the latter, I can safely say, I have perspective on my current state of mind.

So here I am, penning down my annual reflections to remind myself that 2016 was not all wasted!

1. Slow and Steady: Always hasty with getting results, 2016 truly taught me the pleasure of indulging in the process and easing your way to the finish line. I started my diet in June 2015 and by January 2016, there was not much progress that I saw when I looked in the mirror. Realizing that there was no clock ticking on losing weight the healthy way, I survived – a little hiccup here and there – but managed to stay true to a healthier lifestyle. Saying no to french fries and mac ‘n’ cheese no longer gave me a feeling of missing out on the greatness of life. On the contrary, it gave me the strength to say no – something I had always had a trouble with. This brings me to the second most important thing – I feel – I have achieved to some extent.
2. Being True to Yourself: I could never wrap my head around the idea of myself being a people-pleaser – yet, I was. There were countless times in the year when I said yes to things and to people I really did not feel the urge to comply to. But, the realization ultimately came, though quite late. I invested my time in work and working out. While that helped with my KPIs and weight loss regime, it also gave me a reason to say no – without a tinge of guilt – and that helped ease the emotional stress I would so easily give into, otherwise. Why say yes to something that consumes your peace of mind? This helped me prioritize the people in my life – you know, the ones who really matter. And this brings me to my third key takeaway from 2016.
3. Talking it Out: I always believed in the power of communication, yet, I always went in my shell the moment I felt I would be entering a discussion that might get a little dirty. I guess, the reason is, because I did not give relationships the benefit of the doubt; or rather, the credit they deserved. For a person like me who draws her strength from her inner circle, this was rather worrying. How could I thrive in a relationship – marriage or friendship – if I was cheating on the prime premise of maintaining an open channel of communication? People in your life, the ones who truly matter, do listen and understand. Optimism, trust, and hope do go a long way, and this brings me to my fourth most important lesson of 2016.
4. Trust Yourself: I guess we are all striving to be the perfect version of perfect, and thus, end up being too hard on ourselves. There were countless times during the year when frustration took over me – WHY was I not getting the results I wanted? Especially, when it came to work. Sometimes, the numbers I was looking at to gauge my performance were just terrible – terrible! And that made me doubt my own self – my skill set, my capability, my capacity, and my energy. Truth is, analyzing your own failure from a lens that is not laden with self-loathing or self-sympathy, but with constructive critique, is essential. While there may not be many people cheering you on, you are your best sport! Tell yourself you can do it – and trust yourself to deliver on that! You just have to put your faith in the process, and continue learning.
5. Learning Never Ends: Learning never ever ends, and the moment you start thinking it has, it becomes the end of you. In 2016, I can proudly say, I did not shy away from a chance to learn, especially in a society where the popularly accepted narrative is “I know it all and better than all.” My favorite way of learning has been through the fantastic people I meet every single day. Listening to their stories, reading their blogs, watching their videos. I learned about the cultural diversity in Pakistan, the beauty of languages, the intricacy of political opinions, the hypocrisy of morals and values, the power of collaboration; I learned to truly accept people, to keep an open mind, and to listen and empathize; I learned about truly innovative ideas, groundbreaking technology, real social action projects that made an impact, and the strength that people – young and old – have to push through all hurdles and thrive.
6. Being A Woman is the Best Thing Ever: Yes, I said it! Despite the fact that this year has not been too kind to women, I still believe in the resilience, the perseverance, and the unbeatable strength women have. We are strong, intelligent, mindful, empathetic, generous, realistic, bossy, patient multitaskers who can get things done. I believe, I have completely accepted my femininity this year – completely – with all my raging hormones and chaotic bouts of stress. After all, why try to be like a man to be taken seriously?

So, despite the fact that I am still struggling with a lot, I know there is a lot that I don’t have to struggle with anymore. 2017 will be a new chapter, a different climax, and another ending – but one that will be another wonderful journey!